Harvest Moon: DS Disaster Story
by Marionic
Summary: This is a story about Jack and all of the bachelors trying to live in the same area without the girls to help them out. This is full of sillyness, humor, and stupidity due to the fact that there's chaos everywhere in Jack's farm. No noncanon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Harvest Moon: DS (Disaster Situation)

By: Marionic

Characters copyright by: Natsumi, Rising star, and Marvelous interactive.

**Chapter 1: …We couldn't agree on a chapter name so we decided to call it, "The starting of an awkward disaster." This was a tough argument as you…Right the story**

In the tiny village of Forget-Me-Not Valley, there were various people with many jobs. One day however, there was a huge fight between the girls and the boys over a sausage biscuit in Mineral town. The fight was contagious and spread to Forget-Me-Not Valley and soon everyone was fighting their opposite gender. Finally, the girls had enough of the boys taking all of the cookies from chocolate corner so they decided to go on a year long vacation, meaning the boys had to live on their own. Unfortunately, the girls also took the keys to the houses and so the boys all had to live on Jack's farm, which was destroyed (house and all) by a typhoon due to cheap wood and fodder buildings. Let's find out how long these guys can survive…ALONE!

"Gosh, I can't believe this!" Screamed Jack as all of the boys stood there with sleeping bags. "I mean, why are you all staying at MY farm? What's wrong with Mineral Town?"

"Mineral Town?" questioned Kai. "It's cold there and there is snow everywhere!"

"Besides, all of us would get sick from the frost." Claimed Dr. Trent.

"FINE! Stay here, but don't break anything and also you all have to build a house. My house is broken and the typhoon told me that if I even THINK about using fodder for buildings again, he'll sweep me away." Complained Jack.

"I'll get the lumber!" yelled Carter annoyed.

"NO! We'll divide this evenly and fairly!" lied Jack. "Let's draw straws."

Everyone drew straws, unfortunately for Rock, his paper broke and Jack ran out of paper so Rock had to make his own from tree bark and Dog bite. The bite was worse than the bark…

"OW! I just got bitten and the bark won't SHUT UP!" screamed Rock

"Rocks can't scream!" complained Rick. "and I don't remember trees barking."

"TIME'S UP! HOLD UP YOUR STRAWS!" screamed Jack

"QUIET! I can't hear my solo…" claimed Gustafa.

"All of your straws SUCK! Mine is obviously the best screamed Jack" yelled Jack.

"Why did you…? Never mind." Grumbled Carter.

So finally, we all got our ratings on our straws, until we found out that Jack's was the longest. So he had to get all of the lumber, but he couldn't due to the fact that his tools were cursed…or cursing…I forgot what he said. He (Jack) ran off and chopped all of the wood, until we told him that stone was better. He smashed the stones and brought them back, and then we complained that it was too hot. Jack called us something, but I don't remember what…Carter hit me on the head for agreeing with him and narrating…Who? Oh sorry, I'm Rick. Nice to meet you all.

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU GET TO NARRATE!?!" screamed Jack

"This is my show and story." I claimed.

"What the…I'm now the Narrator." I (Jack) claimed

"I wanna be a ROCK STAR." Screamed Rock

"No one would buy your music…" said Gustafa…

"Gustafa? Why are you still playing that lute…?"

"BECAUSE…I can…" claimed Gustafa.

"WHO ASKED Gustafa if he's playing the lute?" wondered Jack

"I did." Answered Carter, why? I don't know. By the way, this is Jack. Sorry for talking in the third person. I don't always do that, but…

"WHO MADE YOU BOSS!?!" screamed Jack

"Who me?" I asked

Jack and his double??? Argued over who is the real Jack, and they started using their tools to work in the field for no reason. So let's focus on the ones from Mineral town for a while. Dr. Trent is currently building a house with everything, kitchens, beds, bedrooms, doorknobs (you know they are needed), etc. Rick started breeding cows and sheep. Kai started cooking. Gray…made some tools and makers, and Gotz ate peanuts…yeah. I, Cliff, am the true narrator of this story and I will tell of all the events from now on…OH wait! Sorry Jack! PUT THAT HAMMER DOWN!!! AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! (smash…) Never mind, that was pathetic. I could've smashed that rock better than you.

"What's all this about smashing Rocks?" complained Rock, who indeed was a Rock.

"Nothing, we're just breaking rOCKS!" I (still Cliff) claimed, "Lowercase rocks, not upper case, like you."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Haaaed Rock (don't ask about the haa… part, he literally said, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Not "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH."

"Cliff, may I have a word with you?" asked the horse (What, horses can talk?)

"Yes." I said

"OK, see there is a special island where only the rare fruit grows, but now it's not accessible, so I wanted you to take me to Nina's house so that I can see what a hot spring looks like."

"Okay." I said, so we went to the hot spring and the horse started talking about cheese omelet, making me hungry. I rushed back as the horse ate Marlins carrots and laughed at the fact that Rock was painted gray and Gray was painted rock…I know makes no sense, but bear with me.

"OKAY! Just a few more minutes aaaaaaaaaa…(5 minutes later)…nndddddddddddd done!" Screamed Jack, who is going to hit me with a cheese omelet if I don't let him narrate for 15 years.

Everyone finally had the houses built and everything…only the house looked like a pile of cheese logs and the barn was filled with calves and baby sheep (Jack knows nothing about sports). Kai burned the batter for the cake he was going to make so he decided to cook some French fries, until we asked him, "WTF (literally said as W-T-F) is a French?" Rock asked, "WTF (see last sentence) is a fries?" Soon, we got ourselves in order, but without the girls to tell us how to laminate our papers, how in the world of Harvest Moon are we going to survive? I know, but you all will have to find out in the next chapter, cleverly called, "Chapter 2…"

"I'll name the chapter." Gimmicked Gray, like he owns the place, even though he does. "It will be called, "How Gray dealt with this homeless homeowners: The sequel." Everyone agreed that that should be the name of the next chapter because technically, they had no cars…See you all next chapter! Jack signed out of his youtube account.

Authors note: Sorry if it's awkward, it's my first official story. I don't mind if you all go hard, but please help me out if you can. If it's okay, I'll continue, if it needs work, I'll fix it. I'll let you all be the judge!


	2. Chapter 2

Harvest Moon DS Disaster Story

By: Marionic (//Jack//)

**Chapter 2: The reason you are all here is the fact that you all lost a huge bet…psyche "Yeah right, says Jack" Yells Rock.**

Last time we left the boys of Mineral town and Forget-me-not Valley. They were arguing about the fact that they couldn't build a legit cheese maker without using AR or hax. "That's hacks, or hacking tools." Yells Dr. Trent.

"Who asked you?" asked Jack politely

"Since when were you polite?" wondered Rock

"Hey, rather than arguing the fact that Jack was polite (for once)." Asserted Rick (who started crying for who knows what reason).

"Please finish your sentence!" questioned Kai

"How is that a question?" wondered Dan

"WTF!?! What are you doing here Dan (Flower Bud Village)" screamed everyone.

"I walked here, and why didn't you add a question mark to the end." Wondered Dan…hmm.

"Oh, well, said Dan, well, I guess that I'm going to stay." Aggressed Jack.

"Why…never mind! Just let's just finish the introduction and STOP ARGUING!!!" Screamed Carter.

"Wh…" started Gustafa before Carter used Dan as a shovel and stuffed him into Flower Bud Village.

ANYWAY… so they all decided to finish building a barn. They all got the RIGHT lumber, the RIGHT tools, and the RIGHT people (Gotz)…"Upper case Na…" SHUT UP TRENT!! Anyway, but they didn't have the right accusations. So they treated each other to some fishing lesson with Galen, problem was, Galen was with the girls, along with all of the other adults. So they decided to count the number of times Rock could misspell his own name, WITHOUT A CHEAT SHEET DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hax!!!!!!!!!!!1!!

"500 more tries." Moaned Jack who looked excited the whole time.

"R-O-C-k…K!" screamed Rock/stuttered Rock.

"Wrong! Spell it again." Laughed Jack who didn't find that funny in the least bit.

"sigh R-O-C-K! There happy?" wondered Rock who wasn't really irritated, but he looked so to have more apples than Gray.

"NO! you have to spell it without sighing and "There happy?" aren't letters." Questioned Jack

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ATHORITY!?!" Screamed Gray, who indeed was not NOT irritated.

"YES! I IS!!!" wondered Trent

"Who asked you!" sarcastically wondered Jack who was feeling generous after Rock spelled his name with a WTFBBQHAX!

"Okay, the cow building is finished." Summoned Gotz

"You mean the "FARM"?" asked Jack, who by now should know better.

"YEP!" screamed Gotz, as he was hit in the head with Dan the shovel.

"You idiot…you don't understand that this is not something we should be knowing about Cheese and ketchup which I tried is good there are no periods in theeis sentence and I are hax" said Jack/Rock who ever you want it to be (misspelling done on purpose).

"Why don't we get back to the story?" asked Rick

"Because, I know everything about the Peanut butter incident and Popuri." Smirked Jack.

"So, she likes peanut butter sandwiches. What's wrong with that?"

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY (TIME)!" Sang Jack and Rock.

"You're gonna get sued…" warned Trent, who isn't a doctor since he hurt Griffin and then told him not to drink the water in his bar, yet he can drink Stone oil (Not Rock's, that he has at his house).

"This is the cops! Open up!" screamed a female voice.

"Oh Cr(ainum)…SH(oop da Whoop)…F(rankie)…Snap!!" screamed Jack who quickly opened the door. IT was…

THE END

Psyche! It was Jill and Clair, who were visiting to see how the life on the farm was for the boys, unfortunately for Jack, he actually was sued and taken to jail for 50 hrs and had to do 3 days of community service. Fortunately, his farm was on fire so he didn't have to raise any crops anymore. He made $300,000,000, which in gold was only 0.0000000000001. He came back to his farm half an hour later (from when he left for jail) to talk to Jill and Clair, and Pony, who came outta nowhere and was Jill's twin for no reason (according to Gray).

"So Jack! How are you?" wondered Jill

"Okay I guess…" moaned Griffin, as Jack mouthed the words.

"We decided to visited you all to see how you are doing, and it seems that you have a long way to go…" moaned Clair.

"We could help you, but you might wanna tame the cat and dog." Mentioned Pony, seriously, I don't understand the question.

"What do you mean TAME, Rock was messing with our food bowls and telling us what 2 + 2 equals." Complained the cat.

"Yeah." Said the dog.

"Rock then threw a tantrum JUST because I pulled his hair and rode on his back!" said the cat.

"Yeah!" screamed the dog.

"Then…HE HAD THE NERVE TO CALL ME A BOY, AND GIVE US ENGLISH LESSONS!!!" screamed the cat.

"YEAH!!!" said the dog…no wait he said, "Yeah…wait, you're a girl? HOW COME I NEVER KNEW? AND English lessons at least will help us tell Jack that the bathroom is OVER THERE!!!" yelled the dog.

"What do you mean? I always knew where the bath…" started Jack

"Actually, I'm not entirely sure, but whatever you want me to be……but I'm going to be a girl in this story, because I look like one." Confirmed the cat (If you think the cat is a boy, that's okay, she/he won't show up much…unfortunately, UNLESS you want her/him to)

"Okay, since when could you two talk." Wondered Jack

"Since we were born, but Rock just taught us English." Claimed the dog.

"We also learned some words from you, such as: F(andom)…" started the cat

"UHHHHH Let's not go there…" stated Jack as the three girls and Rick stared at him angrily.

"HOW IN THEWORLD COULD YOU USE SUCH LANGUAGE!!!" screamed Jill

"I didn't…he "she" sorry 'she' said, "FANDOM"!" said Jack

"You corrected your self and apologized to yourself…" said Griffin and Gustafa, who were suddenly depressed to tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…" cried Jack, who then ran into his room and cried on the bed for what seemed like 50 years, even though it was only 3 seconds.

"Okay, we're obviously not getting anywhere!" yelled Cliff, "we much fix up this farm, as Rock just GRABBED A SMASH BALL!!!!!"

"W(ind)T(hanks)F(turkey)1?" They all screamed, "is a smash ball?"

"D(oodle)…I really hope Jack is in brawl." Silented Cliff

"I don't wanna fight." Blued Jack as he beat Rock to a senseless pulp for eating the weeds growing in his yard, even though Rock was fine and Jack ended up in the hospital for shattering his wrist on Rock's perfectly shaped…COOKIES!!!

"I take it that was from Jimmy Neutron (the episode where Carl is fantasizing about Jimmy's mom when they are on the air ship with the garbage man.) THAT's JUNK MAN!!!" screamed Cliff.

I was going to say statues, but they weren't shaped like Leia the mermaid (who I'm going to marry) so I had to reference his cookies, which he baked, but used WAY TOO MUCH basalt (salt with a ba in front of it) making them rock hard (guitar solo).

"Well, I guess that rap's up that story, unfortunately, Rock is going to the hospital to tell Jack that Jill and the other girls are going to stay there and help put everything in order. Why I say that's bad is because this story wouldn't be funny if everything was in order and everything is going to be destroyed in the end anyway, so…yeah." Narrated Blue.

"What? Are you doing here?" questioned Jack.

"I'm the narrator from now on, because I said so and Dan was here before…I was also nominated by Ann and everyone in Flower bud Village decided to help out with the story." Answered Blue.

"OUR LIFE IS JUST A STORY TO SOME KID ON THE INTERNET WHO LIKES TO MESS UP THE LIVES OF INNOCENT CIVILIANS IN GAMES SUCH AS HARVEST MOON?!!?!!?" cried Jack.

"No, it's a comedy, get your facts straight. Oh and I'm 20 so I'm not a kid." Answered Blue, "and what's an internet?"

"OH, the internet is a wonderful place, it's full of so much stuff like…POPCORN!!!" sang Jack.

"EEEHHHH?" glared everyone except the boys, who knew what Jack was really going to say (Cheese, the internet is really for cheese).

Jak served 200 hours of community service and Daxter had to make sure Jack watched the whole thing WITHOUT EATING, SLEEPING, OR BATHROOM BREAKS!!!!! Actually, it kinda was the other way around and Jack did all the work while Jak and Daxter ate cookies. They offered some to Jack every 199 hours, but decided against it, since Jack already ate some of the red grass…no, orange grass…no, wait, red grass…yeah, definitely red grass.

NEXT TIME ON HARVEST MOON DS (DISASTER STORY)!...I don't really know, but I'm sure it will be funny. KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MARIONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(stupid shift + 1)

"but the story isn't ov…" accused Jack, who was done in 1 day…and 2 years.

Next chapter: Chapter 3, THE CHAPTER BEFORE CHAPTER 4 and the one where the harvest sprites spend an endless amount of K…on Futons…yeah, Jack want's to know what futons are.

So, what did you all think, the story will take awhile to get somewhere, but I don't mind, as long as I get to write more funny stories about how Jack beat the mole men on planet aqua with a squirt gun and a flame thrower in electric city, with 3 hp left.

"Jack, CHAPTER 2 is over, for now…" said Gray.

"THEN SAY, "TO BE CONTINUED!" yelled Jack, even though that isn't necessary for obvious reasons.


End file.
